If you’re open to new perspectives and ways of responding to your child in challenging situations you’re halfway there. So how do you handle discipline with the strong-willed child in a way that will effectively teach them important life skills such as cooperation, communication, and respect while keeping the vital parent-child connection intact? Not only do these quick surface level approaches not work to help a spirited strong-willed child gain internal values or motivation to do the right thing because they want to, they also create a rift of frustration and disconnect in the parent-child relationship, making an uphill batter feel even more difficult for everyone involved. These strategies can be effective in shaping behavior for some kids (although the strategies still fail to get at the root of the problem, teach the skills needed for success, and pose the risk of leading to anxiety and low self-confidence down the road), but they will NOT be effective for disciplining a strong willed child. The gold standard conventional discipline approaches (according to the official organization of critical onlookers I suppose?) of punishments and harsh disapproval were not helping her to learn and were, in fact, increasing negative behaviors and oppositionality. When we pushed harder she would resist more. When she would resist, we would push harder.
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I had to dig deeper and get to know the unique human being I was raising, to figure out how she could best learn and succeed because what we were doing was failing miserably. Each child has different needs that need to be met and just as life is a journey and not a destination, so is raising a human being.Īll the behavioral techniques and approaches for disciplining a child I had learned in my schooling and career could only get me so far. We learned that children don’t come with a ‘one size fits all’ tag.
The idea of being fully prepared to raise a child is a steaming pile of bullcrap.
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It seemed I was missing a rather important degree, how to handle discipline with a strong-willed child.Īs with many ups and downs of parenting, I was about to learn an important lesson. This is not how it was supposed to happen, I have a degree in Child Psychology and am a licensed Child Therapist. I’d say it was around my daughter’s third birthday when it became clear we were in over our heads.īetween unmet expectations that a child will always listen to their parents and the harsh reactions and discipline that flowed from our frustration, we felt like we were hitting our heads against a brick wall with our fierce pig-tailed little lady. Raising a strong-willed child requires growth.10| Channel the energy in a positive direction.10 Strategies to live by for effective discipline with the strong-willed child.How to discipline a strong-willed child has long been a divisive topic.
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